Not about the destination...

I enjoy driving, so, heading upstate NY yesterday to visit family, I looked forward to my ride as an integral part of the pleasure of the day. It didn't disappoint.

The Taconic Parkway is one of my favorite highways, the most perfect road for a summer drive, a meandering pair of ribbons that winds its way through forest and farmland atop the ridge of the Taconic Mountains, with a commanding vista of the Hudson Valley and the impressive peaks of the Catskill Mountains in the west. As the Silver Bullet and I headed out, I couldn't have picked better weather for the drive, not too hot, blue skies filled with lovely summer puffs of clouds. Traffic wasn't bad, and I settled in with my iced green tea, opting for the radio to entertain me. I found an oldies station that claimed to play all the tunes we "never hear anymore", and they were right - when was the last time *you* heard "Tighten Up"?

I was in an easy summer groove as suddenly, I noticed that the sky ahead of me was looming black, and, as sunlight still streamed through the moonroof, it started to rain, and how. There wasn't much in the way of lightning or thunder, but it was coming down so hard I was surprised not to see hail. Within seconds, there was enough water on the road to cause some serious ponding (on a ridge top), but there are no shoulders on the road, so it's not very easy or convenient to pull over and wait it out. As I rounded a bend, all of the cars ahead of me had their brake lights on. I managed to make my way around most of the cars who were stopped, or nearly so, to see that what was holding things up was a car *stopped* in theright lane - no lights, no flashers. If the storm hadn't slowed us all down to some 40 mph, that would have been a multi-car pileup, for sure.

After about 3 or 4 minutes of this pounding rain, it abated nearly as quickly as it had started, and out peeked sunshine again, punctuated by a few moments of drizzle here and there. Soon, my journey changed direction, and I was able to look back through sunny skies to the mountain ridge, with the storm cloud sitting there surrounding it. It sure gave a new dimension to the notion of driving *through* a storm!

After an afternoon of the familiar camaraderie that only occurs among family, content with good food and the comfort of many hugs and kisses, my return trip home took on an entirely different mood. I never even turned on the stereo, as the unfolding landscape provided me with its own beautiful music. As woodlands opened up, blue skies shifted to peach and coral, and then dusty lavender, ringed with crimson, in the twilit westerns mountains. That gave way to sparkling navy velvet above, interrupted here and there with fog and gauzy mist, as summer-warmed streams and the earlier rain yielded their moisture to the crisp evening air. Then, in the east, the magnificent, buttery disc of the moon commanded the night sky, a beacon lighting my way homeward.

The man I'll always love

I remember the first time I saw you, as your fine, reddish-gold hair glowed in the early evening light, and my breath was taken away. "He's so beautiful!", I exclaimed, and was told that's not a very complimentary thing to say about a boy. And now, all these years later, I can still recall that moment and know that it was the right word, indeed.

We grew up together, you and I, and I know I didn't always do right by you, but I did always do the best that I could. And you didn't always do right by me either, but somehow, we made it through, and always knew that we had each other. There were years when things between us were difficult, some separated by distance, and those where we were under the same roof, but unable to understand each other, ones when I feared for you, that you might be lost to me, lost to the world, into the urges that drove you into actions I couldn't understand.

And then you left me, and as sad as I was, I knew it was the only way. My own road was rocky then, and there were many times I wished we could be there for each other, but I also knew that you had to learn how to find yourself. And whenever you would come so briefly back into my life, it was like that lovely evening golden glow had returned. From a distance, I saw you come into yourself, as if watching a chrysalis. Opaque and undefinable at first, and gradually, with wondrous clarity, I could see this remarkable creature unfold and spread his wings, and be amazed that any of this had anything to do with me. But I shouldn't have been surprised, because there were many, many times when you amazed me with your intelligence, your perception, and your maturity.

And then, I saw you cast your glow on another, the woman who lights your life in return. It startled me how I felt no jealousy, rather, gratified that you had her light, the need to touch you both, and this makes me happy. I embrace her, the children she brought with her, and the remarkable one you've made together in your image who is part of me as well. My beautiful boy, now a remarkable man, yesterday celebrated that day you first saw this world, and I celebrate it here.