For my cousin Greg

I checked my email this morning to learn that my cousin, Greg Wilder, died a few days ago. He wasn't a first cousin, but my mother's first cousin, and I didn't know him well, but I still had great affection for him.

I actually have barely any memory at all of him from when I was a child, but I do remember that my mother would speak of him fondly, very proud of his minor celebrity status. She always had to add that he had changed his name because his real one seemed too ethnic in the 1950's entertainment world. I never had a chance to ask him about it myself, but I always wondered why he even changed his first name from Robert. Now, I suppose, I will never learn.

My mother's extended family never stayed close, so the only time I ever saw him as an adult was when he came to her wake. He was probably about 70 then, but he was spry and personable, and we exchanged email addresses. We would exchange pleasantries once in a great while, and he would call me "cuz" like we were teenagers. It was very cute.

I visited the website link he sent me, and learned that he was still out there, crooning Sinatra and other standards at weddings and swing dances, at an age when most of us expect to be retired. He loved it, and was pretty good, too. There are sound bites you can reach from the link if you're interested.

I hadn't heard from him in quite a long while, over a year, when I made a post about my mother, both here and on another blog site. I forwarded the link to a few family members, fully expecting that he'd be someone who I would hear from. When I didn't, I wondered about his health, and realized that I had no way of contacting him except through email, and I don't even know any of his intimates to contact them.

I learned today that he suffered from lung cancer, and that he passed away on Monday. I find myself sad that my life had moved in a direction and pace that didn't allow me to know him better, my "luvincuz" Greg.